Facebook and Greg: A Story of Love and Loss

As I mentioned in my previous post, I left Facebook. I deactivated my account. I’m certainly not the first, and I won’t be the last. A wise man once said, “Getting rid of Facebook is like running away from home as a kid. You’re only doing it for attention and we all know you’ll be back.” Truer words were never spoken.

I left Facebook for the complete opposite reason of wanting attention – I wanted to avoid attention. I realized that my Facebook account was pretty much a shrine to my relationship with Christine. Hundreds of pictures, occasions, memories, experiences all shared with a woman who just left me. And I was surrounded by Facebook friends who liked, commented, and shared in these experiences with me. I could either get rid of all traces of that failed relationship, or just quit it altogether.

There are three reasons why it was just easier to walk away from Facebook.

1) The thought of having to methodically go through my Facebook use for the last three years to purge memories I didn’t want to see anymore terrified me. Such a daunting task! A task I was not prepared for.

2) If I maintained my presence on Facebook, it would inevitably become the place where people found out what was going on with me. Half of those people deserved a better way for that to be communicated to them, and the other half didn’t deserve to know about my problems at all. If Facebook wasn’t even an option, these people would find out about my situation via a source that would no doubt be preferable to a social media platform.

3) I wanted to get rid of any temptation to use Facebook as a soapbox. Although I consider myself a mature adult, the allure of using social networks to vent about one’s life can be quite strong. I didn’t want to be one of those whiny, obnoxious people who use Facebook to constantly complain about their life’s problems.

So I just deactivated my account. Problem solved. But I was real with myself. I made myself acknowledge that I would most likely be back. But I would do it when I was good and ready.

It’s been almost three months. And to be honest, it’s been great! I miss Facebook once in a while. I enjoyed making my friends laugh with funny posts, sharing thought-provoking news articles, blowing up people’s timelines with pics of my dog, etc. And I’ll be doing that all again soon enough. But I also realized that a lot of my Facebook use was more out of habit rather than pure desire. I would check Facebook multiple times a day because that’s what I always did. When I get back on Facebook, it’ll be because I want to. But for now, I’m enjoying the time away.

Plus, I always have Twitter and Instagram. You should follow me!

‘Til next time, friends.


Divorce Sucks

Hey sports fans, it’s been awhile.

My readership will be down quite a bit with this post considering I left Facebook two months ago. I’ll post my thoughts on my Facebook fast in another post, but I’ll say one thing about it now – you should do it.

These last few months have been…well…rough. I won’t regale you with stories of how life sucks or how unfair it is or whatever, but you all deserve to know what’s going on.

I last posted about getting engaged to a beautiful girl named Christine. We ended up getting married last August. In December, she decided she did not want to be married anymore. It was devastating, to say the least.

glass case of emotion

Since that bomb was dropped, my world has been a roller coaster of emotions, from feelings of inadequacy and failure, to anger, resentment, bitterness, and everything in between. For those of you who are/were married, you understand just how much of your life is hinged on your marriage and your spouse. So when that spouse walks out of your life forever, life becomes unhinged. For a while, I truly felt like life had ended. It was brutal.

But life didn’t end.

I was able to climb out of the abyss of despair and depression (too dramatic?) because I realized that my life wasn’t over because Christine left me. Yes, my marriage was an extremely important part of my life, but I had other parts too.

I had (have) my faith, my family, my friends, my job, and of course, my dog. These are all amazing things in my life. Things that I knew if I could hold on to, they would pull me out of any bout of depression. And that’s what happened. They pulled me out. They made me realize that I am a blessed man, a lucky man. My marriage ending knocked me down. And knocked me down hard.  But not permanently. No way.

My dog, Sam, at the lake!

My dog, Sam, has been a great companion through all this.

It still hurts, there’s no denying it. But it has gotten easier. And I know it will continue to get easier. And so, for all of you dealing with anything like what I have dealt with, believe me, your life is not over. Focus on the good in your life. It will do a remarkable job of belying the bad.

Thanks for listening.